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Joke of the Day

"Badum tish. Hey, so this baby seal walks into a club."

"Homeless girl I asked a pretty, young, Homeless woman if I could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile. The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box."

"What is the most well educated type of nut? Macademia."

"friend: Are you eating a whole frozen pizza by yourself? me: It was on sale for $4 friend: I wasnt asking because I thought it was expensive"

"Don't you say that about Java. Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders"

"How many states of matter are there? 5: solids, liquids, gases, plasma, and black lives"

"Hey guys I know a really good Knock-Knock Joke but you have to start it."

"Chuck Norris trick-or-treated as himself as a child."

"My car keeps pulling to the right forcing me to steer left. Either the alignment is off or I'm trying to drive a Republican."

"Want to hear a joke about Sodium? Na"