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Joke of the Day

"I just signed a deal with my liquor store that when I die I'll be stuffed in the Capt. Morgan pose and displayed inside their store."

"Boy, Peter Parker is lucky he was bitten by a spider and not one of those fainting goats."

"In wartime, it's so often the most vulnerable who get forgotten. Someone needs to kill them too."

"Doctor will I be able to play piano after the procedure? Doctor: Yes, I don't see why not. Patient: That's wonderful I could never play piano before!"

"Jared from Subway Apparently Subway is removing the foot long from the Kids menu"

"What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste!"

"Man asks blonde for coffee without cream. Blonde replies: ""We're out of cream. Would you prefer coffee without milk instead?"""

"An excaped convict fell out of a polishing machine and landed on a worker. He was struck by a smooth criminal."

"Those are the whitest teeth I've cum across today."

"""My Heart Mustard Go On"" - Celine Dijon"