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Joke of the Day

"Where will Donald Trump find the workers to build this Great Wall? Outside of Home Depot...... Maybe I should shoot myself in the foot. Not trying to be racists, but you get the point."

"So two guys walk into a bar... and the third one ducks."

"Raise the bar ..? Like, go and drink upstairs ..?"

"""Wow! Go show your mommy!"" -what I say to any child talking to me for more than 11 seconds."

"Every time you make a typo the errorists win."

"He was such a brutal fighter that, after slaying the tigress in the arena, he proceeded to devour her flesh. And he felt no remorse. He was Gladiator."

"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue."

"I told my daughter we might be getting a blizzard and she asked for one with Reese's pieces"

"What do you call a lizard on drugs? A mariguana."

"Police: We'd like u to come with us to answer some questions about ur husband's disappearance. Mrs. Potato Head eating french fries: why?"