201126

Joke of the Day

"My twittercide will be like the final scene in BraveHeart but a doughnut will fall from my hand in slowmo instead of an embroidered hanky."

"If your bf/gf is mad at you put a cape on them and say, ""Now you're super mad!"" If they laugh marry them."

"What do a dead fish and dog shit have in common? They are both front-page material on reddit"

"Hey, reddit, what is the most offensive joke you know? I just thought of this one. It should be pretty entertaining!"

"A fish swims into a brick wall... Damn."

"This is a robbery In some firm, two masked thieves enter: -This is a robbery The accountant, relieved: -Thank GOD, I thought it was the IRS."

"How many sexual orientations does a physicist have? Six: Up, Down, Strange, Charm, Top and Bottom."

"My boss said to me. ""You're the worst train driver. How many have you derailed this year?"" I said "" im not sure, its hard to keep track"""

"Every ten seconds, someone in London gets stabbed Poor bastard."

"The secret cocaine ring in my school still hasnt been busted by the police It's slipping right under everyone's noses!"