200982

Joke of the Day

"Sorry I said, ""Whoa, hope he's good at math."" when you showed me your kid's finger painting."

"Why did the women cross the road? Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen?!!!"

"If I had a cool name like AL Gore, I would make horror films."

"There are three unwritten rules of life. 1. 2. 3."

"I swear to god, the next car that cuts me off will be driving in front of me."

"Say, did you hear the one about the three holes in the ground? No? Well, well,well."

"I think i just wrote a joke out of my pathetic love life while fixing supper and here it goes. What does a bachelor eat the most? Balonely sandwiches."

"GUIDE TO BEING BATMAN: 1. Lose parents, inherit everything 2. Let people get murdered 3. Never murder the Joker cause he's the best at puns"

"Girls like guys who take charge: ask her out, plan a date, take a hostage, overthrow a government, nuke her ex's hometown, buy her a puppy"

"Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend? Because he had a reptile dysfunction!"