200718

Joke of the Day

"Someone blew up a department store because they didn't stock basic clothing... There were no casual tees."

"Once upon a time there was a man. Today there are many **EDIT** Grandad joke. Rest his soul"

"Condoms... Are for pussies."

"What about breakfast teaches us the difference between ""interested"" and ""committed""? In a ham and egg sandwich, the chicken had an interest, but the pig is committed."

"If you've ever wondered how many days you can reuse the same lemon wedge in your water pitcher in the refrigerator, the answer is not 11."

"When telling jokes to identical twins make sure you tell them the whole joke ........ because you just can't tell them a part."

"one time a kid at recess said i couldnt actually dig a hole to china, i said ""Watch me"" then walked away. i avoided him the rest of the year"

"I had such a great masturbation session last night... that when I woke up in the morning my dick was in the kitchen cooking breakfast."

"I found $100 in my pocket this morning and almost quit my job"

"What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits"