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Joke of the Day
"""Laughter is the best medicine"" -doctor who failed med school"
Next Joke
"It's hard for me to believe that the new Star Wars trailer has already been seen millions of times. How do they even know where it's parked?"
"Let's do them. What do you call a group that only wants a Ninja? Goad-diggers."
"[Last supper] Jesus: Same time next week guys? *they all nod* Judas: I'll book a table for 12 Jesus: you mean 13 Judas: yeah..13, I meant 13"
"""It says here you're very sarcastic?"" Actually it says sadistic ""why would you put that on a resume?"" I was being sarcastic"
"Always wanted to call people who don't like astronomy ""Galactos Intolerant"""
"I don't date because I have a very particular type Girls that like me"
"Did you hear that Microsoft is giving away Office to parents? Word to your mother."
"A friend of mine is so politically correct.... At the deli he is afraid to ask for "" white American "" cheese."
"""Sure, you can wear shorts to preschool today."" -the reason I am sleeping on the couch right now"