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Joke of the Day

"Two vultures boarded an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. Thestewardess looked at them and said, ""I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrionper passenger is allowed."""

"You're exceeding the limits of my medication. Please go away."

"Did you hear about the Mexicans that robbed the train museum? I don't know why they did it but they must have had a pretty 'loco' motive."

"Selling an improved autocorrect? Shut up and take my monkey."

"Women are like magnets... I have no clue how they work."

"What do you call Einstein masturbating? A stroke of genius."

"[Library] MAN: Do you have books on fire? LIBRARIAN: Yes, in the Chemistry section MAN: Come on boys! *Swarms of firemen enter with hoses*"

"Apologizing does not always mean you are wrong. It just means that you value your relationships more than your ego"

"I buy all my guns from a bloke called T-Rex.. He's a small arms dealer."

"In Catholicism, souls have mass."