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Joke of the Day

"What's the best way to kill a one-legged fox? You make him run across Canada..."

"Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me three times, show me how you do that"

"I'm 36 but have the body an 18-year-old The police are pretty upset about it."

"Had a bad mix up at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me. Apparently she meant my credit card."

"People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves."

"What is the difference between an onion and a hooker? I am not crying when chopping up the hooker. Thank you and goodbye forever!!"

"Woman 1 - Your husband now comes home early. How has this happened? Woman 2 - I've simply told him sex will start exactly at 9 PM, with or without him."

"My version of a haunted house is hitting yes when an ATM asks me if I'd like to see my balance."

"Our laundry room flooded because an apple chunk clogged the washer hose. Go ahead, have kids. They have pocket apples."

"What's the difference between a club and a strip club? A club has a beat that you can dance to, a strip club has a dance that you can beat to."