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Joke of the Day

"Putting random stuff in peoples carts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYmoaJoyZTo"

"My friend has the Koran on DVD... I asked him if he could burn me a copy."

"Yeah, hi, I'd like 500 pizzas over the course of the next 10 years delivered to wherever I am in the world, thanks."

"*i get home riding a pig* Wife: Hey honey, how was the ""Hog Riders"" meeting? Me: *sighs* Pointless...this one was for motorcycles too."

"A man walks out of a bar... drunk and looks at his watch,it says 10:00 and after a few seconds it changes to 10:01 and he yells out ""I time travelled!"""

"Q: What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money."

"Patchouli Why do hippies wear patchouli? So blind people can hate hippies too"

"I've just bought the new Beach Boys mobile phone. The ringtones are shit but it has good vibrations."

"When I'm feeling inadequate, I remember that there are women who marry their prison pen pals, and then my own decisions don't seem so bad."

"Not really a joke Girl dyed her hair red, I asked ""does the carpet match the drapes? She said, no; ""Waxed hardwood floor"""