199551

Joke of the Day

"Rioters are destroying Baltimore. Don't worry though, all the bookstores are safe."

"When I get a little tipsy I like to go to a random neighbourhood, knock on the door and say, ""Sarah Connor?""."

"doctor: your test results have come patient: what does it say? doctor : but first , what is your zodiac sign? patient: cancer, but why ? doctor : what a coincidence !"

"[ORIGINAL] What's a priest's favorite cheese? Swiss. It's holey."

"What's the definition of macho? Jogging home from your vasectomy."

"Why did Sarah Palin endorse Donald Trump? Because it takes a cunt to recognize another."

"Hey kids, remember the feeling you got when you cleaned your room without being asked and no one noticed? That's what adulthood's like."

"I ordered a brand-new sandwich maker online. Her name is Svetlana."

"What do you call a German living in Canada? A leder hoser."

"Your baby has no idea that you threw him a 1st birthday party. All you did was inconvenience your friends."