199547

Joke of the Day

"If you are trading Cephalopods, it's important that you exchange those that are of equal size and value. You know.... Squid Pro Quo"

"My therapist says I should stop breaking into his house to tell him all my problems ... and also that he's not a therapist ."

"picked up a bag of 98% reduced fat chips at the store today there were only 2 damn chips in the bag"

"People keep escaping from maximum security jails and I can't even manage to leave 5 minutes early from work."

"""Knock knock"" Who's there? ""Russia"" Russia who? ""Get out of the house. I live here now."""

"I think deja vu is bullshit and this isn't the first time I've thought that."

"Ok you with pneumonia, go sit between the perfectly healthy lady and the guy with the blood shooting out of his leg and wait. -hospitals"

"A Jewish boy ask to borrow a $20 from his father. His father replies, ""$10?!?! What on earth do you need $5 for!"

"What do you call a really good fisherman? A master baiter"

"Green tea reduces weight* *Only if you go and pick the leaves from the mountains yourself."