18010

Joke of the Day

"Why don't blind people go skydiving? It scares their dogs."

"TSA: Sir, you can't bring that bottle of whiskey on the flight. Me: Um, this is my Service Whiskey. See his little vest? TSA: ...."

"I thought yesterday was going to be pretty boring... But it sure started off with a bang."

"Why did the pro football player from the last-place team drop pieces of hamburger into his soup? He wanted to know how it felt to take part in a Soup-er Bowl!"

"Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said ''So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses!"

"Damn girl, are you a Unix based printer? Because my lp0 is on fire!"

"Did you know that Native Americans were really good strippers? Every time they danced, they made it rain."

"What do you call a bikini clad conspiracy theorist? An illumi-hotty!"

"If you're American, when are you not American? When European. Or when you're Russian. Any more? :)"

"Wife: Where are you going? Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got? Five?"