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Joke of the Day

"I spent 69 years making memes in a musty dungeon. They were pretty dank."

"My career as a professional rock climber is going great, but I'm also taking a course in mattress-making. Just so I've got something to fall back on."

"There are 3 types of woman [reddit!](http://data1.whicdn.com/images/55422337/large.png)"

"DRUG DEALER: what'll it be man ME: *wearing a wire* some drugs please [at the surveillance van] DEA AGENT: did he just say some drugs"

"im tired of chasing my dreams So I'll just get their number and catch up with them later"

"How much does the average Hipster weigh? About 74,000 Insta-grams."

"While building a house in Kansas, Chuck Norris was dared to dig a hole as deep as he could. Chuck Norris dug so deep that the next day there were Squirrels with slanted eyes on his front lawn."

"Santa: its snowing Christmas is canceled Put everything in the garbage Elves: no! Rudolph: what if I told you I had a very small red light"

"An honest weatherman says ""Today's forecast is bright and sunny with an 80% chance that I'm wrong."""

"Cholo What did the cholo say when two houses fell on him? ""Get off me, homes!"" My brother heard this on Tosh."