198110

Joke of the Day

"I do feel bad for some of you who complain about all the unwanted attention you get on Twitter. Maybe you should try notepad, or word."

"That awkward moment when you don't know what to do with your life when you leave the computer, so you just get back on."

"A bear walks into a bar... And he goes up the barman, rests his elbows on the bar, and says ""I'll have a pint... ... of beer please."" And the barman says, ""Why the big pause?"""

"INTERN 1: 6 in the Oval Office INTERN 2: 4 in the Roosevelt Room INTERN 3: 1 in the Lincoln Bedroom BIDEN: Okay, let's go catch some Pokemon"

"Life is Like a Buffet- Sure, there are some good ones, but most are sad and crappy, and eventually, they kick you out."

"CAT: mew ME: indeed, u are correct kitty CAT: mew ME: well said, kitty, well said FRIEND I FORGOT WAS THERE: are u ok...? Emotionally?"

"How does a girl get a guy to eat shit? She wipes back to front."

"A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar... And the bartender says, ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"What do you call a Zen master from eastern Europe who's been bugging you all day? A Buddha Pest."

"For most, bikini season lasts a few short summer months, but I catch enough & store them so efficiently I can eat bikini all year round."