198110

Joke of the Day

"I do feel bad for some of you who complain about all the unwanted attention you get on Twitter. Maybe you should try notepad, or word."

"African scientists are saying people who died of Ebola are coming back to life... But thats ridiculous, every one knows theres no such thing as african scientists."

"If you believe in the end of the world tomorrow... I'm going to keep making end of the world jokes like there's no tomorrow"

"Some guy named Rand McNally printed out a bunch of Google maps and sells them at gas stations. Weird."

"Setting a dowry for my teenage daughter. So far I've got 2 dogs, 1 little sister and an ant farm. Act before midnight, I'll toss in an iPad."

"For Sale: 2010 Honda Civic. Well maintained. Some Zipcar logos. Must purchase in next three hours."

"I'm smiling. This should scare you."

"my fitness goal is just to get down to the weight that i lied about on my drivers license"

"I'm pretty sure I'm smarter than my cat, but he refuses to take the test. It unnerves me, because that's totally what a genius would do..."

"I quit drinking & people laughed at me. Now the iPhone 7 is here and I get to sell a clean & pure Liver. The joke is now on them."