198022

Joke of the Day

"What a rip-off! I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess."

"The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream."

"It's not my farting that bothers my wife, it's me yelling ""Release the Kraken!!"" right before I do it."

"Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb? A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed."

"My psychiatrist asked me how I became so patient. I told him I was waiting on Half Life 3 to come out."

"What do you call a gigolo you don't pay? A Free Willy."

"Do flashers have dreams where they leave the house and suddenly realize they've got their pants on?"

"What did the hamburger say when it found out that most people liked hamburgers better than frankfurters? 'Hot dog!'"

"Why did the poor man sell yeast? He wanted to make some doe!"

"What do you call it when alpacas with speech impediments take over Earth? The Alpacalisp."