197970

Joke of the Day

"A Scotsman and an Irish man walk into a bar And the Scotsman shouts ""All the drinks are on me!"" The next morning the headlines read *""Irish Ventriloquist Found Dead Behind Bar""*"

"What's the worst thing to say to a hipster? You remind me of someone"

"Who the hell called them deadbeat dads instead of negli-gents?"

"My internet bride got delivered today, she's the WiFi always dreamed of."

"Please God, let the weather be nice for my picnic. There are 7 billion people on this planet. Many starving. Please hear my picnic prayer."

"If you dress up as a banana and eat a banana Is that canabananalism?"

"I wonder why the ingredients on a snickers wrapper says ""May contain almonds."" What, is the guy who drops in the almonds a slacker?"

"If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes."

"I was at a antique store and came across the first Playboy magazine ever issued...... Luckily, the owner didn't see me."

"What is the favourite meal of pakistani taliban members? Tikka Malala"