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Joke of the Day
"I ordered a bowl of spaghetti and found a linguine noodle at the bottom he was an impasta"
Next Joke
"Why don't Chinese Restaurant owners do their dirty dishes? Because it's too much wok! [Sorry, I just made that up!]"
"What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust."
"I hate to say ""I told you so"", so Im going to sing it."
"I wish I had firearms. Or maybe one firearm and one regular arm."
"I text my wife tonight, ""Honey, I'm going to stay in the bar another hour with my friends for another pint..."" ""...if I'm not back in an hour then read this message again."""
"Why do good farmers only excel when they are actually farming? (X-post from /r/jokes) Because they are out standing in their field."
"What do you call souvenirs from the last battle of the Napoleonic wars? Wat-heirlooms."
"I love to have deep conversations at 12:59 I love those 1-to-1 conversations"
"Why the long face ? A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face ? Horse: because I'm a raging alcoholic."