197814

Joke of the Day

"""Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday and it said that I needed an upgrade."""

"I knew a person who was against warrior princesses He was a Xenaphobe"

"Men are like placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table."

"It's everybodies favourite day of the year World IBD day! Ah shit, I'm missing a colon"

"did you know they are planning a sequel to fifty shades of grey in which both leads are played by men? they are gonna call it fifty shades of gay"

"- Baby, I can't sleep. - And it was pissing you off that I could?"

"Why did the smart phone eat a lot? It had a big APPetite"

"Why Did Hitler kill himself? He was told about his gas bill"

"I don't do cocaine... I just like the smell."

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field! :p"