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Joke of the Day
"Men are like placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table."
Next Joke
"On the first day... ...God created the heavens and the earth. And on the second day, God created the food items in the back of my pantry."
"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? can't jam peanut butter in your ass"
"Did you hear about the stupid Kamikaze pilot ? He flew 57 missions !"
"*friend bites off beer bottle cap at party* HONEY! HONEY!! NOW!! NOW!!! *wife jumps out car with a hundred jars from the fridge*"
"What do you call parents who teach abstinence only? Grandma and grandpa."
"What do you get when you cross... an insomniac, a dyslectic, and an agnostic... A: someone whos stays up at night wondering if there's dog"
"Why women mature faster than men? Because men start growing breasts only after 40 years old."
"I took my girlfriend to a baseball game. I kissed her between every strike.... and she kissed me between the balls."
"What has 72 teeth and can hold back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper."