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Joke of the Day

"A pencil isn't as phallic as a pen is."

"With all this media coverage about the clowns... I'll be so glad when the election is over."

"Do you think my skin is starting to show its age?"" ""I can't tell. There are too many wrinkles."""

"I've just wrecked myself. I wish I'd checked myself beforehand."

"I saw a billboard that said ""Watch out for motorcycles. Thousands dead every day!"" Beware the motorcycle menace."

"My can of whoop ass seems to have expired."

"Why is it so difficult to convict a redneck? Because they all have the same DNA and no dental records."

"Why is that cotton candy talking? Grandma, that's Nicki Minaj."

"What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god? Are you Thor?"

"Hop on Pop is a fun children's book, Hop on Cop is illegal."