197445

Joke of the Day

"[Chased by cops on foot] *Turns corner and lays DVD of The Notebook on floor* *Cops get lost in Ryan Gosling's eyes* *Makes clean getaway*"

"What kind of bone will a dog never eat? A trombone! From Fargo Ep. 2"

"Dude in front of me at Starbucks made a big show about calling his Grande a ""medium"" and the barista was like, ""Uck, this again"""

"[house hunting] Friend: *hurls spear into vinyl siding* GOT ONE! Me: *hacking at brick siding w/ sword* GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME!"

"What's a gay man's favorite planet? Earth, most likely. Unless he's personally interested in space exploration, in which case he might say Mars."

"Everyone want to change the WORLD, but no one thinks of changing THEMSELVES !!!"

"""Why are all the good ones either married, gay or the Son of God?"" - Mary Magdalene."

"One of my ancestors invented the glove Well, he had a hand in it"

"I used to go out with a Jewish girl The sex was Unorthodox"

"On a scale of 1 to 100, how mature do you think you are? 69"