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Joke of the Day

"to all the people in Australia o"

"All I ask is that when I'm murdered, you make my chalk outline four sizes smaller."

"I learned how to yodel -Knock knock. --Who's there? -Yoda lady. --Yoda lady who? -Good job yodeling!"

"What's the difference between a puppy and a kernel of corn? Nothing. They both explode when nuked in the microwave."

"What does a drill with a dildo attached to the end and watching golf have in common? They both bore the fuck out of you!"

"What's purple-headed and makes women moan? Crib death."

"25% of twitter users are on medication for mental illness, which means 75% are running around untreated."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a police car? In a police car, the pricks are on the inside."

"This headline stunned me- ""Mars to reduce carbon emissions"" Until I realized it was the candy maker ... and not the planet."

"What's worse than an overthinker .... Sorry I didn't think this part through..."