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Joke of the Day

"This headline stunned me- ""Mars to reduce carbon emissions"" Until I realized it was the candy maker ... and not the planet."

"Then outermost layer of your skin is mostly dead cells, so congratulations you're dead on the outside as well as the inside."

"Wanna know why donald trump considers my penis a muslim? Because i bomb the pussy"

"Sperm is the best glue Have you ever seen a human being falling apart?"

"Families are like onions.... Watching them be cut into small pieces will make you cry."

"what happens when the world stops existing,when all the stars and planets don't exist anymore? Half life 3 will go into early development."

"How do you get high underwater? seaweed! lol my friends 12 yr old daughter told us this one"

"Don't date a man expecting to change him. At the end of the day he'll still be a man, and you'll have wasted your black candles and a goat."

"Facebook likes I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This."

"We play cop games because my boyfriend likes to ""discharge his weapon."""