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Joke of the Day

"I don't really care who came first, the chicken or the egg. I'm just glad somebody decided both could be broken and fried."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Burton ! Burton who ? Burton in the hand is worth two in the bush !"

"Girlfriend said ""I think I'm pregnant, I'm two weeks late.. ..April fools!"""

"NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN, beer and porn, making it very clear that men are not from Mars.."

"The next time there's an awkward silence, try whispering, ""Did you forget your line?"""

"Packing Do gays really have a lot of s**t to pack before moving?"

"What do you call a bulletproof Irishman? Rick O'Shea."

"My brother was born backwards... His nose runs and his feet smell."

"You would have thought that someone would have invented hindsight sooner."

"Bob: Who is that? Me:That's Ted, he's the opposite of a hypochondriac.. Ted's arm falls off Ted: Hey guys! Bob: Holy shit! Ted: What, I'm ok"