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Joke of the Day

"The United States ruined Hiroshima. Which American city did Japan ruin? Detroit"

"Sometimes I think to myself ""I hope to god I'm not agnostic... or do I?"""

"Dolphins don't do anything by accident.. Always on porpoise."

"""Honey, it's not that I don't like your cooking, it's just that the smoke's about to asphyxiat our family."" ""WHAT'D YOU SAY ABOUT MY ASS??"""

"HILLARY: i'm sick and tired of these baseless accusations THE MEDIA: aha! you see?! she admits it! not only is she sick, she's also tired!"

"Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have snacks in your purse."

"What are the 3 rings involved in marriage? 1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering"

"My friend was upset that he lost out on a promotion at work to an attractive older woman. I told him not to cry over skilled MILF."

"The chicken crossed the road. Him: Why did the chicken cross the road ? Her: Because she had heard that the mayor was going to lay a cornerstone and she wanted to see if he could really do it."

"There was once a very unlucky man Crossing the road , he got hit by a truck . Then on his way to heaven , got hit by a plane"