196890

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out."

"Q: How do mathematicians scold their children? A: ""If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times ..."""

"Two reasons I won't give money to homeless people. 1. They're probably just going to buy beer with that money. 2. I'm going to buy beer with that money. Edit: changed for to with."

"What said a person who got run over by a car? ""I'm tired""."

"I'm great in bed I can sleep alllll night"

"What do Jesus Christ and Male Porn-stars have in common? They both take their sweet time before the second coming."

"Premiering 2017. They never saw him coming. Sean Penn is The Retard Pope"

"Mother Paper Bag: We need to talk. Teen Bag: *removes earbud* What? M: Your father was plastic. T: But - M: It's true. You're a mixed bag."

"Wife. Would you cut the label off my dress. Me. Sure *Snip* There you go. Wife. Thanks. Me. No problem. *Kicks pony tail under bed."

"'You boy !' called a policeman.' Can you help ? We're looking for a man with a huge red nose called Cotters......' 'Really ?' said the boy. 'What're his ears called ?'"