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Joke of the Day

"Can someone explain to me why I agreed to go camping this weekend? I'm pretty sure tents don't have wifi and I will most likely die."

"I got really drunk on St. Patty's Day last year and took the bus home. That may not seem like a big deal to you, but I'd never driven a bus before"

"What did King Midas say to the centaur? Stay gold, Ponyboy."

"TIL that if you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end... You would die."

"I'm not a competitive person... I'll be the first to admit it."

"Jeb Bush should come out as being gay to get the Jewish vote. Jews have a strong record of listening to flaming bushes."

"""Shut the door, drop your pants, and get on top of me."" -My toilet"

"There are two kind of women in this world. Those who get mad about everything, and those who get mad about nothing."

"I lost both my hands in a car crash... But there is a silver lining somewhere. I just can't put my finger on it."

"what is a gays least favorite fruit? cantaloupe"