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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama's so old... Her age has to be expressed in scientific notation!"

"As an actor, I find some recent commercials offensive. Actors are real people too!"

"I secretly love men from Scotland... It's my kilty pleasure."

"No one ever smells their finger because it smells good."

"Why are Iranian women always eating? They can't stop getting stoned"

"""WITH OUR POWERS COMBINED!"" ""EARTH"" ""WIND"" ""WATER"" ""FIRE"" ""HEART"" ""SELF-LOATHING"" get outta here Eli ""SORRY"""

"Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives? A: The vegetable garden."

"What do Jedi sheep sound like? Dagobah."

"What size bed comfortably fits a married couple? Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch."

"Whenever I see a bruise on a banana my first thought is pity, but then I think it probably deserved it because I slipped on a peel once."