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Joke of the Day

"[interview] What is your biggest weakness? ""Sometimes I'm too succinct"" Can you give an example? ""Yes"""

"Yo mamma so ugly When one direction saw her they went in the other direction"

"What's the difference between snowmen and snow women? Snow balls"

"""20 McNuggets for $5? That's like a quarter a nugget!"" I exclaimed, hoping that my dinner date would be impressed with my math skills."

"A girl I know got collagen injections in her butt. Now she looks like a smuggler's desk. She's got a false bottom in her drawers. Just thought of that one today."

"What do the South and the Sun have in common? They Both Shall Rise Again!"

"Sure, the BMW symbol kind of looks like a sphincter, but I could already tell by the way you were driving."

"What did the vegetarian do to get ripped? He juiced..."

"2nd month dating: A thousand lifetimes with you would not be enough. 2nd month of marriage: OMG you are the loudest cereal chewer on earth!"

"I told my dog to heel... So he went to the hospital and did all he could."