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Joke of the Day

"My son's method of Laundry: If it's clean it's on the floor. If it's dirty then it goes on the floor over there."

"What do you call the facility where they make lower quality, but still acceptable, goods? The satisfactory."

"I went out to eat and told the waiter I wanted the steak bloody rare. He asked if I was worried about the mad cow, to which I replied..... ..... No. My wife will cheer up after you take her order."

"Why do fat girls give great head? Because they have to"

"If Donald Trump is elected president... there'll be hell toupee."

"[ping pong] ME: 3 to 2, my serve JESUS: M: can I have the ba- J: the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve M: [exhales] every time"

"Fight club. Only naps instead. Rules the same. Just no fights. Only secret, uninterrupted glorious naps."

"An Elephant Never Forgets 9/11 An Elephant never forgets how to ride a bicycle"

"What did the Gay techie say? I do queries."

"Chuck Norris' penis has a Ph.D in sexual education. It also has a pretty mean golf swing."