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Joke of the Day

"What do Hillary Clinton and the World Trade Center have in common? Both collapsed on 9/11 after becoming overheated."

"When someone at work asks you what you're doing this weekend, just pull a lettuce leaf out of your pocket and slowly start licking it."

"Please, I can't handle any plays on words tonight. I just had an appundectomy."

"I once thought about opening a place like T.G.I.Friday's, called C.L.I.Thursday's, but most guys wouldn't be able to find it from what I hear..."

"Overheard at the coffee shop: 'i think that guy is listening to our conversation'"

"Give a man a match and he'll be warm for a few minutes Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"What's the difference between an original joke and a repost? I dunno, i just click submit"

"after one year of practice i attempt my first gangnam style dance in front of my coworkers"

"What's in cider? I'm in cider!"

"Twitter should allow you to select the font your tweets appear in; thus giving me yet another thing to judge you by."