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Joke of the Day

"I wish I could re-enact the fantasy scenes from 50 Shades of Grey... For example, the one where she gets a job right out of college."

"I've Noticed Bernie Sanders is Wearing a Ballcap Now at his Rallies. If he wants to invigorate his base shouldn't he be wearing a trilby?"

"I'm just saying, instead of calling it a ""mule"", it would have made more sense to call it a honkey."

"I asked a coworker if she liked Mila Kunis. She said yes and all the better if I call her a whore afterwards. Then I saw her hearing aid."

"I accidently pooped myself in the elevator. I'm taking this shit to a whole new level."

"What's black and never works? Decaffeinated coffee you racist bastard!"

"I bet you guys want to hear a joke about my penis. Nevermind, it's pretty long."

"My black friend asked me... My black friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library. I said ""What the fuck man it's, 2016, you can use whatever printer you want""."

"What did the bassist say when he played too high? I'm in treble now"

"A procrastinator's work is never done."