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Joke of the Day

"Hi, Id like to buy a Nutri-Bullet, pls. Salesperson: Ah, nice. Off on a cleanse or health kick? Yes. *imagines drinking lasagna* For sure."

"Which is the smallest pub in the world? The Thalidomide Arms."

"Million dollar idea: make $100,000 ten times"

"My CAD guy was having a rough day at work... So I told him to just fillet the whole model. It really takes the edge off."

"The ducks in Cern What does the ducks in Cern say? Quark Quark"

"Pro tip: Do your makeup before you start drinking."

"I need feminism.. ..because I've never heard a 'dumb blond' joke about a man!"

"Q: Why don't women wear dresses in the winter? A: They could get chapped lips!"

"Apple CEO announces he's gay. Samsung CEO announces he's more gay and water resistant."

"Which band does Donald Trump dislike the most? Foreigner."