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Joke of the Day

"I don't call it stalking I call it checking up"

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"Why can't I think of a word that means something really good or really bad depending on how you use it in a sentence? Fuck!"
"Ninety percent of being a dog is not realizing your own tail is your own tail."
"BLONDE COUNTING Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70? A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful."
"Why did Microsoft go from windows 8 to 10 Because 7 8 9"
"I wonder if mormons support the transgendered? If they did, they could go on a transmission! -- authentic dadjoke overheard at breakfast"
"What's worse than one dead baby nailed to ten trees? One live baby nailed to ten trees."
"You know what's way better than an iPod? A zune"
"TIFU when my finger tore through toilet paper while wiping. It was the most ass I'd gotten in a while."
"Want to hear a clean joke? Jerry took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man."