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Joke of the Day

"Apparently my friends think I'm paranoid. I fucking knew it."

"I'm pretty confident I can perform this Appendectomy on myself. Thanks YouTube"

"A wife says to her husband.... ""I want you to whishper dirty things in me ear,, to which the husband replies: ""Kitchen,bathroom,livingroom""..."

"Why can't you find pirates in Kansas? They all live in Arkansas"

"Have you heard about the two gay ghosts? They gave each other the willies."

"I finally Understand Math Me: wow i finally understand math *moves on to next question* Me: what the hell is this"

"Noah build an ark ""what? why"" I'm gunna flood the earth ""just give me fish powers"" [jealous he didn't think of that] JUST DO WHAT I SAY!"

"Late term abortion now offered in Florida Free with stay to any Orlando resort"

"Kylo Ren was more powerful with his helmet on. With it off, he had to use a majority of his power to maintain his hair's body and bounce."

"What's the best part about living in Switzerland? Beats me, but the flag's a big plus."