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Joke of the Day

"Quasimodo walks into a pub Goes up to the bar and asks for a scotch whiskey. Barman asks ""bells alright?"" Quasimodo snaps ""mind your own fucking business"""

"Wanna hear a good one? The current choices America has for the job of president."

"My girlfriend accused me of being a transvestite... ...So I packed her things and left."

"Came home to find my girlfriend packing her stuff... I asked her what she was doing, she says ""I'm leaving you, you sick peadophile!"" ""Peadophile! That's a big word for an 8 year old!"""

"[alligator store] Clerk: $1500. Thanks Me: not gonna say bye to him? Clerk: uh Me: say it Clerk: goodbye Me: say ""see you later alligator"""

"I used to think I was homophobic. It turns out that I was just afraid of monsters in the closet."

"ruins all credibility when a rapper says he's ""depressed"" in a song. know who else is depressed? my 14 year old son Greg"

"Where do trees keep their money? In branch banks."

"What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion? Teargas"

"Why did the crayon want to be a phone? Because it wanted to be a texta."