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Joke of the Day

"In Need of A Psychic Reading There was a man that needed a psychic reading. He showed up on the psychic's front porch and knocked on the door. The psychic said, ""Who is it""? So he went back home."

"Why are brides so happy on their wedding days? No more blowjobs."

"My girlfriend says she enjoys sex more whilst on holiday. Well I can tell you, that was an awkward postcard to receive."

"Cop: Why are your eyes bloodshot? Me: My girlfriend dumped me and I was crying... Cop: Oh. Me: ...so I smoked weed to feel better."

"Don't tell me I don't know the difference between right & wrong. Wrong is the fun one."

"The neighborhood is having a meeting tonight about the creepy guy & I'm the only one not invited. Weird."

"I'd never appear on Leno now because I have strict ethical standards, so next time you're watching Leno and you don't see me that's why."

"I once entered ten puns in a comedy competition hoping one would win. But, no pun in ten did."

"You know what's better than Tennessee? Elevennessee."

"Q: How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two: One to hold it one to hammer it in."