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Joke of the Day

"Waiter there is a bee in my alphabet soup ! Yes sir and I'm sure there is an A C and all the other letters too !"

"What type of math is dead? Aerith-matic.."

"I'm so lucky, I married my best friend!! I hope my husband doesn't find out"

"My head says ""go to the gym"" but my heart says, ""stay on the internet forever and eat!"""

"I opened a company selling prayer mats with land mines in them.. Prophets are going through the roof!"

"Why do the Irish wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away."

"1day I'll be thankful my daughter is an independent iron willed human w/an unrelenting strong voice,but not today, not in this grocery store"

"Trump is like The Room. It's so bad, it's so good."

"You ever seen a really beautiful woman that you wanna go talk to? But then you think she's gonna freak out when you walk out of her closet?"

"Cat: ""What did you get him for his birthday?"" Dog: ""Pant . . . pant!"" Cat: ""Great . . . he needs a pair of pants!"""