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Joke of the Day
"I found out about you from my last nightmare."
Next Joke
"If I had five coconuts and I gave you three how many would I have left ? I don't know. Why not ? In our school we do all our arithmetic in apples and oranges."
"""Hey. You sleeping? No? Whatcha thinkin about? Hey. Did you hear me? Hey. Hey. Ok. You're boring. I'm leaving... Jk I'm back. Hey"" - Birds"
"Good thing girls started uploading pictures next to a pool with the caption ""Summer is finally here!"" or we wouldn't have known it's summer."
"I saw a sign on the highway that read ""End Road Construction."" And I was like, shit, the anti-road construction people are getting vocal."
"What do you call the man with a lisp who drowned? A philosopher. Cuz he's a deep thinker."
"A necklace and a little plane on it. The man was staring at the little plane on the woman's necklace The woman: Do you like the plane? The man: No! I like the airport."
"Restaurant owner warns his employee: ""one must open oysters carefully""... The employee answers: ""no shucking fit!"""
"""I ate thoup before it wath cool."" - Hipthter"
"Being a mom means being the first one up in the morning, the last one to bed at night, and the only one drinking during church."