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Joke of the Day

"Restaurant owner warns his employee: ""one must open oysters carefully""... The employee answers: ""no shucking fit!"""

"What is the highest form of flattery? A plateau"

"My Grandma has such beautiful... 3-Ply toilet paper. It feels so good on my ass."

"i wonder how many time-travelers accidemtaly went back in time instead of forward but then saw a knight & thought ""wow look at this robot!!"""

"I was really into the idea of Salsa dancing, until I learned there are no chips. Or salsa."

"Two cows are standing on a hill.... One turns to the other and says ""Hey, aren't you worried about mad cow disease?"" The other replies, ""Why should I care? I'm a helicopter!"""

"INTERVIEWER: do u have any weaknesses VIDEO GAME BOSS: [strugling to cover glowing weak spots all over body] UM"

"Charlie couldn't believe he was being allowed into the Chocolate Factory... ...his girlfriend had been dead against it for years!"

"If we are not if we are not meant to have midnight snacks why is there a light in the fridge ?"

"What's your best one-liner?"