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Joke of the Day

"What do 6 lesbians and 6 government workers have in common? They're a dozen people who don't do dick."

"How do you fit an elephant into a string bikini? You take the ""s"" out of ""sex"" and the ""f"" out of ""way."""

"My psychic friend told me that she could tell me what my favourite band is... I said No Doubt"

"I got fucked by a priest 20 years ago.... ....He said ""you may now kiss the bride""."

"The last time Twitter was down I was forced to speak to real people. Real people go on and on and on and on, for way over 140 characters..."

"What do you call a shipping crate full of snails? Escargot."

"What do you get when you put mice in the oven? Mice crispies."

"[texting] me: I just left and I already miss you wife *typing response* me: (can you read that to the dog for me)"

"What's the difference between a soy bean and a chick pea? I've never had a soy bean all over my face."

"#1: My personality is 30% the last movie I watched."