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Joke of the Day

"Why do Japanese people look so serious in pictures? Last time they saw a flash it destroyed their country"

"In honor of MLK day: Why don't black people sleep? ...Because the only one that had a dream was shot."

"Honey, I'm afraid we can't get married anymore. weed_hitler69 just told me I was gay. *looks at Xbox* Thank you sir. You've changed my life."

"Today I met one of those people on the bus that gets all pissed off when you put your finger in their mouth when they yawn."

"So earlier I held the door for an Asian guy... He said ""Sank you"" ...so I punched him. I couldn't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that."

"The ex just asked me how can one have a soulmate if one has no soul? Wonder which of us he was referring to?"

"Have you ever met a fractal? They're so conceited. I mean, they're so full of themselves."

"An astronaut squirrel, a snail that meows, crab with a whale as a daughter. Dear creators of spongebob, pass the drugs."

"A whale performs a La Roux cover...... ""Mmmmmmmmmm.......I'm goin' in for the krill"""

"The other day I was trying to make a noise with two of my fingers and my thumb, and no matter how much I practiced nothing seemed to work... Then it clicked"