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Joke of the Day

"Just when you think 2016 has finished killing celebrities... WHAM (George Michael)"

"What does eating a chick out and being in the mob have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit."

"You know how the bud light campaign got through PR? Because the guys at bud light aren't used to getting consent and don't take no for an answer."

"I don't mean to brag, but I do all my own auto repairs. *turns up volume* SEE! THE RATTLING SOUND IS COMPLETELY GONE!"

"How many babies does it take to paint a house? None. The minimum age for physical labour in most places is 13-15 and babies would not be allowed to use the paint"

"What sort of soup do men make most often after sex? Split pee soup. (I made it up. I'm sorry.)"

"Dial Up Connection Was the original Dubstep."

"Why was 6 afraid if 7? Because 7 is a registered 6 offender"

"Sitting here at Starbucks, everyone looking at their phones and only one person's noticed mine's a calculator."

"Police arrested 2 kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off"