195075
Joke of the Day
"[OC] Time heals all wounds.. Unless you re a haemophiliac."
Next Joke
"TIFU by ordering the wrong sandwich for my wife. Oops, wrong sub. Edit: Turns out this has been posted before :("
"Martin asked David ""In which state does the Ohio River run?"" David answered with cool ""In the liquid state."""
"How to open new toy: 1. Cut tape with machete. 2. Take shot. 3. Undo 23,518 twist ties. 4. Take 3 shots. 5. Watch child play with box."
"Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problem out with a pencil."
"Why did Mickey Mouse get shot in the foxhole? Because Donald ducked."
"In many U.S. States offenders receive a harsher penalty for hitting a dog than they do for hitting a woman. That's outrageous either way you're slapping a bitch"
"What do you call a bulletproof Irishman? Rick O'Shea."
"Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? So he wouldn't fall into the hot chocolate."
"Best part about staying up late = total absence of morning people."