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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who took some dude's ear off with a vacuum cleaner? His name was Mike Dyson."

"Remember being a kid and writing ""FiretrUCK"" everywhere, thinking your parents wouldn't get it? My dad just figured it out and spanked me :("

"I like my women like I like my coffee, I can't afford coffee"

"A motor gets a job as a waiter... Servo A motor buys a treadmill. Stepper. An artistic motor loses its paint kit. Brushless."

"Why didn't the vegan gamble at the meat raffle? Didn't want a brisket"

"How many redditors does it take to screw in a new lightbulb? Zero. Somebody already did it."

"What did the alcoholic say to the bartender? ""You know, I only beat my wife once in a Blue Moon."

"Why did the Crip cross the road? Cuz."

"My ornaments are starting to droop. Yeah, time to ask Santa for a new bra."

"I think that whenever you become a parent, doctors should just prescribe whatever pills you want."