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Joke of the Day

"Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I'm very disappointed with all of you."

"Q: Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women? A: Women working at 900 numbers."

"*snorts a line of powdered milk* God damn it feels good to be healthy"

"My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta.... I'm doing well, but I do get cannellonli."

"In Russia, Pokemon find you."

"My boyfriend is being so nice to me since I showed him how easy it was to remove blood from carpeting..."

"What happened before the Big Bang? The Big Foreplay."

"girl you're like the water in flint, michigan you quench my thirst but i know you'll slowly kill me"

"A black kid comes home from elementary school one day... And says, ""hey mom, I've got the biggest dick in the third grade! Is that cause I'm black?"" She says ""no Tyrone, it's cause you're nineteen"""

"Who is this ""one""? And why is he always arguing with people?"