1949

Joke of the Day

"Hands down half 6 is my favourite time of day."

"I always go to the fattest kid at the concession stand to buy popcorn at the movies because he knows how to butter it properly."

"It's gotta be nice being a mortician... People are always dying to meet you."

"man and his girlfriend Girlfriend : I longer fit in this dress. man: May be dress shrunk after washing it. Oh ,wait a minute , Jim is calling ."

"My girlfriend told me she's going to break up with me if I don't stop with these nosebleeds... So I tell her ""Hey, if you can find better tickets, YOU look for them!"""

"What do you call it when someone relies on sleep studies for a profession? a rem job"

"The hardest thing about being a Pink Floyd fan... ...is watching a vegetarian eat pudding."

"(Standing next to pool with a golf club and horse) Friends: Are you sure you've played water polo before?"

"How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Toucan"

"Subway sandwich artists seem like they'd rather kill their mother with an AIDS hammer than give you extra toppings."