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Joke of the Day

"what most people dont know is that you can use the trick or treat system to get large amounts of candy for free"

"My wife asked me: ""What's the most risky, dangerous food you've ever eaten."" Me: ""wedding cake""."

"Companies should make camouflage condoms... So they never see you comin"

"I had to roll the passenger window up by hand in my friend's antique 320i like a goddamned Neanderthal, so I totally understand poverty."

"The Irish Alligator His name was Croc O'Dile."

"Zoo Keeper:""I've lost one of my elephants"" Other Zoo Keeper:""Why don't you put an advert in the paper?"" Zoo Keeper:""Don't be silly he can't read!"""

"I remember the last thing my granpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. he said, ""hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker... ...Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet."

"What are the worst three words you could hear when you're in the middle of some passionate love making? ""Honey, I'm home!"""

"I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution. 3840x2160"