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Joke of the Day

"Q: What word begins with M and ends in arriage and is a mans favourite thing? A: Miscarriage This joke never gets old, just like the baby."

"My wifes birthday My wife asked me for something that went from 0-200 insanely fast. Bought her a pair of scales"

"What's the most believed oxymoron? Peaceful muslims"

"You're so beautiful that last night you made me forget my pickup line."

"I'm terrified of the day robots become self-aware and start wearing fedoras."

"Snooki, but without the orange tan and poofy hair. And she's in charge of North Korea."

"How do you piss off a feminist? Don't worry, she's already pissed off."

"*dog runs for president* *is asked race sensitive question ""The thing is, I don't see color"" *crowd goes wild*"

"My wife asked me what I wanted to do for Easter So I told her ""The same thing Jesus did. Disappear on Friday and come back on Sunday."""

"I like to bring bags of winter clothes into strip clubs and tell them to cover up. Then yell how they're embarrassing the family."